Good-bye Mrs Chips

I have completed my time at College Hill Prep School where I have been for EIGHTEEN YEARS! It's a lifetime and the future is just a little daunting right now! I played around at GlassGiant.com and made the tag above as for eighteen years that has been my identity.

I live in a small town and because so many children know me and have passed through my hands, wherever I go in town I am greeted by smiling faces and waving hands or little bodies tugging their mommy's skirts and pointing...."It's Mrs Ternahan"

I know it sounds self gratifying, and it is, but what an awesome priviledge I've had to be loved by SO many. At my farewell I was given a scrapbook made for me by all my colleagues and church friends.In it were messages and photographs.I can't tell you what it means to me....to be loved and treasured soo much! It makes the leaving sooo difficult! BUT...I look back at all the memories I CAN take with me and look forward to the future.

I've been thinking a lot about how my being a teacher has become part of who I am.I almost feel as if I'm going through an identity crises LOL.I have for the past 18 years lived as a wife, mother AND teacher and these roles are very much WHO I am, BUT I am so much more and leaving my comfort zone of familiar grounds has made me look more closely at who ME is.

I've discovered I'm brave...those who know me know thats a profound statement to make LOL..I've never thought of myself as such. I've discovered that "TEACHER" is not all I am to little ones whom I teach...I am more. I've discovered that my colleagues are more than that...they are friends and loved ones. I've discovered that I CANNOT make this move without the strength I'm getting from Our Lord! It is He who makes me look to the future with HOPE and filled with LOVE.....

LOVE from those and FOR those I'll be leaving behind. Life IS a journey and I've sat on the path a long time and now I am moving on...I've discovered I' ve grown enough to take those new steps...big steps...toward a new future...but..I'll always look back and smile as I remember...

I'll treasure those little faces, those loving smiles, those eagerly waving hands...yes I will, my dear, dear little ones..I love you...all...everyone!

 

 

Emmanuel-God is with us

At this time of year I am so aware that for many it is not a happy time.I would like to encourage you to read the following piece that blessed me.I pray that it will remind us all that we are NOT alone! Blessings and Jesus love xxxx

EMMANUEL - GOD IS WITH US

INTRODUCTION
Matthew 1:23 “Behold, the virgin shall be with child, and bear a Son, and they shall call His name Immanuel,” which is translated, “God with us.”
When the Good News of the birth of Jesus Christ was announced to Joseph something wonderful was about to happen. In addition it was going to be the fulfillment of prophecy (Isaiah 7:14). But something about Jesus was revealed in the process. It was something about His name. His name would be Emmanuel. Names tell us about a person. In the old days names meant something and told you something about the person. In our home we named our one child Caitlin Joy. Caitlin means PURE and Joy of course means JOY. We anticipated that our daughter would be PURE JOY (And she has been). Now the angel comes and tells Joseph that Jesus will also be called Emmanuel – which means GOD WITH US! Something about Jesus was going to different – now God himself would be with us. But what does it mean for God to be with us? Have you ever thought about it? I see three critical aspects in the statement GOD IS WITH US!

1.  GOD IS WITH US
God is with us simply means that God is with us. We are not alone. God is not some far off heavenly being but He is with us. We can know a connection to God. 
A.  You are not alone
The fact that God is with us means that you and I are never alone. You may feel alone and isolated, but God is with you.
B. He will never leave you - no matter what
When you pass through the waters, He will be with you. When you pass through rivers of difficulty you will not drown. When you pass through the fire the flames will not burn you. For He is the Lord your God. He is not a fair weather friend, here when things are going well and gone when things are rough or difficult.
Matthew 28:20 God has said, “I will never, never fail you nor forsake you.”
Never is a very long time and extends beyond human life. No matter what you are going through, this truth remains. He will never, never leave you.
C. God is with us - there is no ultimate defeat
If God is with us we have a recipe for success and overcoming. If Jesus says ’I am with you’ it makes ultimate defeat impossible.
Isaiah 8:10 Devise your strategy, but it will be thwarted; propose your plan, but it will not stand, for God is with us.
If God is with us who stands to be against us? We can know ultimate victory. On the basis of this great fact, we can go to God without hesitation. It is for this same reason that we should not turn to other things. No matter what, don’t stop going to God.
D.  God will not leave you (us)
Hebrews 13:5 For God has said, “I will never, never fail you nor forsake you.”
We cannot be separated from His love.
Romans 8:38-39 For I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from His love. Death can’t, and life can’t. The angels won’t, and all the powers of hell itself cannot keep God’s love away. Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, or where we are—high above the sky, or in the deepest ocean—nothing will ever be able to separate us from the love of God demonstrated by our Lord Jesus Christ when He died for us.
God will not leave us and we cannot be separated from His love. Therefore, you can have eternal optimism. God loves you and He has NO plans of deserting you.

2.  GOD IS FOR US
Not only is God with us but He is also for us. Some people think that God is against them and angry and cross with them. Some people see God as a God who is waiting for them to put a foot wrong. Some people when they think of God they think of judgment. But the truth is that God came to be with us because He was for us and not against us. God sent Jesus to the world because He loved the people of the world! No matter what you have been led to believe, I am here to tell you that God is for you! God is not against you; God is not anti you. God is not waiting for you to fall or fail.  God is for you.
A.  If God is for us who can be against us?
Romans 8:31 ‘If God is for us, who can be against us?’
If God is for us then we are destined to win. Destined to win on every front. Destined to overcome sin. Destined to overcome guilt and fear. Destined to conquer those things that would endeavor to destroy us. Destined to win. Who can be against God? Are your problems greater than or beyond God? NEVER. If God is for us, who can be against us!
B.  If God is for us we have nothing to fear
Numbers 14:9b ‘The Lord is with us. Do not be afraid of them.’
If God is with us we do not need to fear. God wanted to take the nation of Israel into the land flowing with milk and honey. He had good things in store for them. But they had heard bad reports and become afraid. As a result they almost missed out on what God had for them. Fear can rob us of just about everything. I am here to remind you that God is for us. He is with us. We do not need to be afraid.
C.  God is for us and He will come through for us
Psalm 56:9 ‘When I cry out to You, then my enemies will turn back; this I know, because God is for me.’
David understood this. He had confidence in God. He knew that when he cried out, God would answer him, because God was for him. What a way to live! I believe that God wants us to enjoy the same degree of favour. I also believe that God wants us to enjoy the same degree of confidence.
D.  Because God is for you, you can be confident
The fact that God is with us should cause us to have great confidence.
Jeremiah 29:11-12 I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome. Then you will call upon Me, and you will come and pray to Me, and I will hear and heed you.
God is for you! God has plans for your good. God does not have plans for your evil. God has plans to give you peace and hope. God has plans to answer our prayers. God has plans to see us through. God's plans ensure that our FINAL OUTCOME will be a good one! God is for you.

3.  GOD IS IN US
Not only is God with us, He is also for us. In addition to the fact that God is for us, He also wants to come and live in us. God does not want to be on the outside of our lives, He wants to come and make His home within our hearts.
Revelation 3:20 Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears and listens to and heeds My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will eat with him, and he [will eat] with Me.
God is knocking at the door of our hearts and lives and He wants us to open the door and let Him in. In this way God can really be with us as individuals. Then we can enjoy the reality of the fact that GOD IS WITH US, GOD IS FOR US and GOD IS IN US! Don’t you want this for yourself? There are three things we need to do:
1. Confess our sins: 1 John 1:9 If we [freely] admit that we have sinned and confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
2. We need to repent: This means we must turn around and walk in a different direction.
3. Invite God into your heart and life! God will never force His way into our lives. He waits for us to open the door to Him and give Him place in our lives.
Would you consider doing that today? God wants to make His home in your heart!

By: Andrew W Roebert 
Email: andrew@alivetogod.com
Website: http://www:alivetogod.com
POSTAL ADDRESS: Box 32190 Glenstantia, Pretoria, South Africa, 0010
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Almost done!

I've been gone so long there's a new version of Jland! NICE!! Been so busy but ,as the title says....I'm almost done.....DONE REPORTS, DONE PRIZEGIVING, DONE PACKING, BOYS DONE with school etc SOOO many things I've done for the last time.Quite emotional actually.

This Friday I'll be finishing up at the school where I've taught for EIGHTEEN YEARS!!! It's a very surreal feeling.I think the fact that we will soon be leaving is only starting to become real .I'm trying to cram in extra hours visiting with friends and ESPECIALLY MY SISTER....my heart feels like breaking when I think of leaving her behind! But I know that we must make this move and I have to look at it in a positive light. Look forward to what the future holds and not look back (not too much anyways) to what I'm leaving behind.

Changing the subject now...........before I start crying AGAIN....

I've found 2 cool sites Caption.iT and Glitterfy so check them out and PLAY...look what I made! Enjoy!

Was good to touch base again Jlanders...will post more often as soon as schools over!

Take care XXXXXXX

 

My beautiful boys

 

 

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Relocation update

Our plans to relocate to the UK are going along rapidly now. I have had a paper trail from h#ll to sort out but I'M DONE. I have our passports,police clearance certificates, vault copies of marriage and birth certificates, qualification certificates and only still await our visas. I have been for an interview with an employment agency and they have reassured me of finding work in the town we are moving to.

My husband will be working in Amersham, but we will be living in or around High Wycombe (Buckinghamshire county, South East England).The organising of this move has been a lot easier than I had imagined, BUT I had not bargained on the emotional side of things.I have four weeks left at the school where I have been teaching for 18 years! I feel rather emotional about leaving and I suppose a little insecure about starting my career all over again in a new country.Sometimes I wonder if I have the strength for this challenge, but I know it's something I have to do. While I love my country soo much and it really hurts to leave it, things are not going well in this country.The schools and hospitals are being mismanaged terribly and I don't think the rest of the world realises that the Madiba magic has done nothing for the plight of the poor in this country. So ALL races can attend school or go to any beach they want and vote too- that's the way it should be, BUT most of their lives have not changed AT ALL. They still live in squalor and with the rising cost of living and terrible crime rate, none of us see much in the way of transformation.In Cape Town the latest stats are that 50 people die PER DAY due to gang wars.Jo'burg is worse.....

sigh...sorry for ranting a bit...but it's so very frustrating to see a "new" Zimbabwe happening in my own country.I guess I am feeling emotional about this move!

The only thing that is a bit of a problem is that we have not sold our house yet.My niece has agreed to rent our house from us with the option to buy at a later stage, but we actually need that money to relocate as I don't really want to use my pension payout for that purpose, so... as you can see timing is the only problem at the moment.We don't have any friends or family near to where we will be moving to so the idea of arriving in a new country and not knowing where will put our heads down that night is just a tad daunting LOL I suppose it will be a B+B for a few days until we find a place to rent :-)

Thanks for all your positive vibes....have been "feeling" them in cyberspace :-) Keep 'em coming as I need them :-))

My husband laughs at me as each day when he gets home from work I tell him "I've given so and so this and that"....I feel like Santa HEHE.It's quite emotional doing "last things" sniff....last class,last prize-giving, last braai, last hug :-::::::::: GOSH !!!THINK I"M MENOPAUSAL LOLOL

Love ya JLand xxxxxxxxx

Menopause

Know it's been a while, but what better way to keep in touch than to share a laugh with friends!

 

 

Q: How many women with MENOPAUSE does it take to change a light bulb? 

Woman's Answer: One! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY?  Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out. And,! ! once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the #&%!* light bulbs despite the factthat they've been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!!  AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!!  BECAUSE NO ONE EVER PICKS UP OR CARRIES OUT THE RUBBISH!!!!  IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF RUBBISH THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!!    IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE TOILET ROLL!!  

I'm sorry. What was the question?

1907

 THE YEAR 1907

This will boggle your mind, I know it did mine!
The year is 1907.
One hundred years ago.
What a difference a century makes!
Here are some  statistics for the Year  1907 :

************************************

The average life expectancy  was 47 years.

Only 14 percent of the homes had a bathtub.

Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.

There were only 8,000 cars   and only 144 miles

Of paved roads.

The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.

The tallest structure in the world was the

Eiffel Tower !

The average wage in 1907  was 22 cents per hour.

The average  worker made between$200 and $400 per year .

A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year,
A dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.

More than 95 percent of all births  took place at HOME .

Ninety percent of all  doctors had NO COLLEGE EDUCATION!

Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which

Were condemned in the press AND the government as "substandard."

Sugar cost four cents a pound.

Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen.

Coffee was fifteen cents a pound.

Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used

Borax or egg yolks for shampoo.

Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from

Entering into their country for any reason.

Five leading causes of death  were:

1. Pneumonia and influenza
2. Tuberculosis
3. Diarrhea
4. Heart disease
5. Stroke

The American flag had 45 stars.

The population of Las Vegas , Nevada, was only 30!!!!

Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and ice tea

Hadn't been invented yet.

There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.

Two out of every 10  adults couldn't read or write.

Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school.

Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at the local corner drugstores. Back then pharmacists said, "Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind, regulates the stomach and bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect  guardian of health." ( Shocking? DUH! )

Eighteen percent of households   had at least

One full-time servant or domestic help.

There were about 230 reported murders in the ENTIRE ! U.S.A. !

Ah...women

I'm not a feminist...really!LOL

 

WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST

She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Vogue.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Business Week.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.





WOMEN'S REVENGE
  "Cash, check or charge?"  I asked, after folding items the woman
wished to purchase.   As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote
control for a television set in her purse.  "So, do you always carry your
TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied," but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I
figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."





UNDERSTANDING WOMEN

(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE) I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh; rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.







MARRIAGE SEMINAR

While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,
Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that
husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes."  He addressed
the man, "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"  Tom leaned over,
touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?





CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle.



  A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton
balls and a ball of string on the counter.  She says, confused,
"Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?



  He answers, "You see, it's like this:
yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes,

and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling
papers; because it's soooooo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own ... so does she.(ew..sorry!!)
(This guy must be the one on the milk carton!)





WIFE VS. HUSBAND

  A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a
word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.


As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."





W O R D S
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words
women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "That's because we have to repeat everything to men. The
husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

  CREATION

 A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time."
The wife responded, "Allow me to explain:
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"





WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about whom
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first,
and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and
you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my
coffee."


Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that
the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him  at
the top of several pages, that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS"





The Silent Treatment

  A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving
each other the silent treatment.  Suddenly, the man realized that the next
day he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning
business flight.


Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a
piece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM .  " He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM  and he
had missed his flight.  Furious, he was about to go and
see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by
the bed.  The paper said, "It  's 5:00 AM  wake up."



Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.



God may have created man before woman,
but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.


Have a good weekend ! LOVE YA XXX

Nelson

Love this :-))....knowing Mr Mandela I'm sure he would giggle at this!!

Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching TV and drinking a beer when he hears a knock at the door.

When he opens it, he is confronted by a little Chinese man, clutching a clip board and yelling,

"You Sign! You sign!"

Behind him is an enormous truck full of car exhausts.


Nelson is standing there in complete amazement, when the Chinese man starts to yell louder,


"You Sign! You sign!"


Nelson says to him, "Look, you've obviously got the wrong man", and shuts the door in his face.


The next day he hears a knock at the door again.


When he opens it, the little Chinese man is back with a huge truck of brake pads.


He thrusts his clipboard under Nelson's nose, yelling,


"You sign! You sign!"


Mr Mandela is getting a bit hacked off by now, so he pushes the little Chinese man back, shouting:


"Look, go away! You've got the wrong man. I don't want them!" Then he slams the door in his face again.


The following day, Nelson is resting, and late in the afternoon, he hears a knock on the door again.


On opening the door, there is the same little Chinese man thrusting a clipboard under his nose, shouting,


"You sign! You sign!"


Behind him are TWO very large trucks full of car parts.


This time Nelson loses his temper completely, he picks up the little Man by his shirt front and yells at him:


"Look, I don't want these! Do you understand? You must have the wrong name! Who do you want to give these to?"


The little Chinese man looks very puzzled, consults his clipboard, and says:



(It's a beauty)


(Wait for it)



(Get your best Chinese accent ready)






"You not Nissan Main Deala?" 
 

LOL :-))))

 

 

 

Awesome

I took these photos of the suns' rays shining through on a totally overcast day! I am often at awe of nature and this was like God peeping down on us...LOL not very Biblical as He watches over His children ALL the time,but nevertheless, it made me feel closer to Him some how.It also reminded me of how awesome the bright star over Bethlehem must have been like for the wise men.

just starting to peep

It shone like this for about 30 minutes!!

Sharing in marriage

 The sharing of marriage...

 

The old man placed order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink.

He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife.

He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.

He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them . As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering.

Obviously they were thinking, "That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them."

As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said, they were just fine - they were used to sharing everything.

People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.

Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said "No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything."

Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked "What is it you are waiting for?"

She answered … 

 

 

"THE TEETH."

eeew... :-/

Four Worms and a lesson

I always try to take lessons to heart....

this one meant a lot to me......snigger : )))))

Four Worms and a lesson____
A minister decided that a visual demonstration would

add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.


Four worms were placed into four separate jars.



The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.



At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:


The first worm in alcohol - Dead.




The second worm in cigarette smoke - Dead






Third worm in chocolate syrup - Dead








Fourth worm in good clean soil - Alive.




So the Minister asked the congregation -





What can you learn from this demonstration?




Maxine was setting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said,




"As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!"

That pretty much ended the service --

Rugby world cup

While I myself am not an avid Rugby fan I do live in a house full of men (except my dogs LOL) soooo I am swept into the world of rugby quite by default (and somewhat under duress :-) Loved this email (apologies to any offended parties)

 

Press Release

International Rugby Board (IRB) Rugby World Cup 2007

 

Following complaints to the IRB about the All Blacks being allowed to motivate themselves by performing the ‘Haka’ before their games, other nations were asked to suggest pre-match rituals of their own. The IRB Rugby World Cup 2007 Organizing Committee has now agreed to the following pre-match displays:

 

1) The England team will chat about the weather, wave hankies in the air and attach bells to their ankles before moaning about how they invented the game and gave it to the world, but no one appreciates them.

 

2) The Scotland team will chant “You lookin’ at me Jimmy?” before each of them smash a bottle of beer over their opponents’ heads.

 

3) The Ireland team will split into two, with the Southern half performing a Riverdance, while the Northerners march the Traditional route from their dressing room to the pitch, via their opponents dressing room.

 

4) Unfortunately the Committee was unable to accept the Welsh proposal to form a choir and sing Tom Jones’ “It’s Not Unusual”.

 

5) Argentina will unexpectedly invade a small part of opposition territory, claim it as their own “Las In-Goals-Areas” and have to be forcibly removed by the match stewards.

 

6) Two members of the South African team will claim to be more important than the other 13 whom they will imprison between the posts. These two willthen go about selecting the best parts of the pitch to settle on and claim that they have been there for centuries.

 

7) The Americans will not attend until almost full time. In future years they will amend the records to show that they were in fact the most important team in the tournament and Hollywood will make a blockbuster fi lm called ‘Saving Flanker Ryan’.

 

8) Five of the Canadian team will sing La Marseillaise and hold the rest of the team to ransom.

 

9) The Italian team will arrive in Armani gear, sexually harass the female officials and then prepare pasta dishes, which they will flog to the crowd for a fortune.

 

10) The Japanese will shock fans by demonstrating how to capture a whale for scientific research buy harpooning an opposition prop.

 

11) The French won’t have a pre-match display and will simply hide in fear in the dressing room for the whole match.

 

12) The Australians will have a BBQ on their side of the fi eld and invite the opposition over before the game. The food and alcohol will be in abundance and by the start of the game no-one will remember what they came to the stadium for. After some streaking, the singing of dirty songs and the occasional chunder everyone will go home thoroughly convinced it was a bloody good night.

 

13) The Moroccan team will quietly pray during the first half and then launch suicide attacks against the opposition after the break. Unfortunately, this strategy works well for the first game only, after which Morocco is forced to withdraw from the Rugby World Cup due to lack of players.

 

14) Samoa will prepare a huge feast in the middle of the pitch by digging a large hole and filling it with burning embers. They invite the opposition over by saying, “We’d like to have you for dinner”. It’s only when the opposition get to the pit that they realize there is no meat and that they are the dinner!

 

Hopefully, with these policies now in place, further problems is this area of the game should cease to exists.

 

Regards,

 

Syd Miller

IRB Chairman

THE INTERNATIONAL RUGBY BOARD

 

Argentina actually beat France last night.... who cares ????(actually my men do :-)

He loves you!

God is awesome!!!Just in case you doubted! He leaves His signature in all He created...check out these photos....

From the furthest exploded star (the Xstructure..photo fron NASA)

note the cross!

to the microscopic protein (Laminin)which holds us together LOL..note

the cross

to a cross mysteriously found in the wreckage of the Twin Towers

 

a funnel cloud....see Jesus?

Whether you believe in Him or not....He loves you !

Love,

Shauneen

Getting old LOL

      

 

An elderly gentleman... had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100% The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again." The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"                                                           Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: "Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?" Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby." "Really!? Like a newborn baby!?" "Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants." An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly." The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?" The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... The one that's red and has thorns." "Do you mean a rose?" "Yes, that's the one," replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"    Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. "I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown." Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. "Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?" he asks. "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?" "Sure." "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" she asks. "No, I can remember it." "Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so's not to forget it?" He says, "I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries." "I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?" she asks. Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!" Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment. "Where's my toast ?" A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: "So I hear you're getting married?" "Yep!" "Do I know her?" "Nope!" "This woman, is she good looking?" "Not really." "Is she a good cook?" "Naw, she can't cook too well." "Does she have lots of money?" "Nope! Poor as a church mouse." "Well, then, is she good in bed?" "I don' t know." "Why in the world do you want to marry her then?" "Because she can still drive!" Three old guys are out walking. First one says, "Windy, isn't it?" Second one says, "No, it's Thursday!" Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer." A man was telling his neighbour, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect." "Really," answered the neighbour . "What kind is it?" "Twelve thirty." Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?" Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'" The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful."  A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?" "No," he replied, "Arthritis    LOL...Thought we could all do with a laugh! Love Shauneen

 

For now

For now I'm doing what this verse says!

Verse:                Proverbs 3:6

In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.

- We all need God's leading and guidance.
- God wants to do just that for us.
- This happens as we submit to God and acknowledge Him.
- Then we can know what it means to be directed by God.

At this time, I really need to know God is taking control and leading the way (as He DOES! LOL)...Thanks for all your prayers!

Love

Shauneen

THANK YOU JLAND

THANK YOU FRIENDS

Just a quick THANK YOU note to say thank you for all the encouragement I have received! What a sweet bunch you are (((((HUG))))))) LOVE YA!!

A huge decision taken

Hi all my Jlander friends! Its been a while since my last entry but I have been very busy putting plans into action.

We have made the decision to relocate to the UK as soon as we sell our house.My husband worked in London for two years (he has Bristish citizenship) and we have been toying with the idea for quite a few years. While I DO love my country...I think my children are better off somewhere where they can experience better opportunities.I have lived in this small town for forty years and have taught at the same school for seventeen years...sooo this is a huge step for me!BUT...I do believe this to be the best thing for us- PLEASE COULD YOU SAY A PRAYER FOR US AND ESPECIALLY OUR CHILDREN! I know kids adapt better than adults do, but there are many changes that we will have to get used to.

I prayed  for so long about moving as I did not want this to be a "me" decision. As a Christian I always want to be sure that whatever I do is in Gods' will. Each time I prayed I thought of Moses in the desert...I wondered if this was Gods way of telling me I have been in a desert but the promised land awaits...BUT I also doubted if it was just my STRONG desire for a better life. I prayed that God would somehow "speak " to me....(do you also battle to "hear" Him?? LOL)

Well, the day my husband got the job in the UK, I asked God once more to let me know if we must go WELL.... He spoke clearly...I receive a daily devotion and the very next morning the verse was from Exodus (where Moses was in the desert talking to God!!ring a bell!!LOL) The verse said "If you,our God, do not go before us, we will not set a foot from this place" The lesson with the verse was all about MOVING!! I believe God gave me the sign I was looking for! Since then I have absolute peace that we are doing the right thing.I still have fears....but will get over those LOL

Thanks in advance for your support! It is a bitter/sweet time for us... leaving my beautiful country and especially my sister! but I have to do what I know is best for my children!!

It would be interesting to hear your views on our move!

Take care...love

 Shauneen

Wife version 1.0

PROGRAM CALLED:  WIFE/ GIRLFRIEND

Dear Tech Support:  

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend  version 7.0to Wife version  1.0.   I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected  child processing that took up a  lot of space and valuable resources. In  addition, Wife 1.0installed itself  into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications  such as Poker Night 10.3 , Football 5.0 , Hunting and  Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6
I  can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the  background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about  going back to Girlfriend 7.0 , but  the uninstall doesn't work on Wife  1.0. Please help!

Thanks,
A Troubled User.  (KEEP READING)
___________________________________  

REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem  that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a  Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife  1.0 is an  OPERATING  SYSTEM..

You cannot go back to  Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this.  Look in your Wife 1.0 manual underWarnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend  that you keep Wife1.0 and work on  improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application  "Yes  Dear"to  alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter  the commandC:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately  you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to  normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a  great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support  programs, such as Clean and Sweep  3.0,  Cook It  1.5 and Do Bills  4.2 .

However, be very careful how you use these  programs . Improper use will cause the system to launch the programNag  Nag 9.5. Once this  happens, the only way to improve the performance ofWife 1.0 is to purchase additional  softwarecalled   Flowers 2.1 and  Diamonds  5.0!  

WARNING!!! DO  NOT , under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This  application is not supported byWife  1.0 and will cause irreversible  damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech  Support<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

 

 

LOL....glad my hubby installed this operating system 17 years ago and its still in operation...